Movers are now a requirement

In my recent relocation to CA from AZ my company had included in my signing deal the agreement to pay for a moving service to relocate my belongings. How dare they spoil me with such a luxury, I can never go back to moving my own stuff. All I had to do was sit on my butt and point to items I wanted them to pack and then furniture and boxes they needed to load. Could it be any easier? Only unless they find a way to teleport the items with my mind, but unfortunately the Force is still under research with NASA and their crew of Star Wars experts.

I was wondering why I had spent all those years in college telling my friends I was having a “moving party” where I proceeded to bribe them with the promise of bagels for breakfast or pizza for dinner or a make out session after the unpacking (unfortunately no one ever took me up on that offer). Little did I know that if I had a moving company I could have had a “moving party” where I actually really just had a party. I would invite all my friends over to the house when the movers would be there and since everyone would show up and hour late they’d be just in time to see the movers show up to pack my stuff and then they could enjoy as I did sitting with my feet up on the coffee table as these packers slaved away shoving my items into boxes and wondering how many more shoes they were going to have to pack. We could have sat around the pool playing volleyball and BBQing only to be disturbed every once in a while with the question, “do you want all of these bobble heads in one box?” "Yes", I would say, "Yes, I do because I would hate to have to open a box and only have it contain one bobble head instead of all 60 in my collection." (I don’t really have a collection of bobble heads but you get the picture)

And the even better part is when I arrived at my new condo they were there the next day with their truck full of goodies and I could sit there at my table checking off the boxes as they unloaded them and give them the location to place it. “Yes, would you please leave my bed in the living room? I think I would like to sleep there for the night.” I didn’t have to grunt and groan going up and down stairs with box after box. The only difficulty I found was when they would read off the numbers on the boxes I didn’t always understand what they said? “that was 3….4…..what? did he just say………..shoe? Since when is that a number? What 86? That’s not even on the sheet? Oh wait he meant 98, he just read it upside down.” (This children is why you stay in school and why it’s important that if you move to another country you take time to learn the language.)

What a fantastic way to relocate. I will always now use movers when I have to transplant to another location. Well of course when I have someone else to pay for it. I mean are you kidding? I don’t have that kind of money. Who do you think I am? I have more shoes to buy!