Monday, August 16, 2010

Pushing the Tank Limits

This morning I ran out of gas. How? You ask. Well to answer the question in your mind Yes, I do have an indicator light but my light comes on before it even reaches the empty tank line and I've gone an additional 100miles on my car even though the little light tells me I need gas. Bottom line THE LIGHT LIES! It doesn't really need gas, it's just a little bit thirsty but instead of waiting until it's parched it decides to whine about it and turn on its little light hoping I'll take the bait when it really knows it could drive longer without a drink but just doesn't want to because it's a baby. Anyway so the light came on this weekend and of course I ignored it because I knew it wasn't even close to being empty after I drove all the way to San Dimas to Venice back to San Dimas to Upland and back to Le Verne all while the light was on. What does that mean? I drove a lot of miles while the car was indicating it was 'out of gas'. Incidentally when I got up this morning I had forgotten that the light was still on and figured I ought to get some gas because the miles were close to 400 and that's about the limit. So I drove out to my jobsites to unlock the numerous doors the guys needed opened and realized that I had forgotten my wallet at my house. I drove back up to my house grabbed my wallet and was on the way to the gas station when the gas pedal quit. ARGH! No, I was like 20ft from the gas station. I was literally at the light to turn into the station when the car quit. And guess what the light had just turned green. I try to get the car to coast into the turn lane but it's not going very fast. I jump out of the car and start pushing it over and wave the car behind me around after he started honking. Lucky for me this nice old guy came out and helped me push the car out of the road. The only bad thing was he pushed it to the NE corner of the intersection and the gas station was on the SW and he informed me that he had a heart condition. I didn't really know what to do with that information so I just thanked him and patted him on the arm. Crap! Now I have to go get a gas can. SUCK! I run over to the gas station to see if the little store has a gas can and it does but of course it's going to cost me and arm and a leg. I grabbed the door handle. WHAT?! It's locked! I look down the sign reads; "back in 10min" you HAVE to be kidding me. I stand around waiting for awhile and this lady asks, "Hey, what's wrong with your car?" "Oh, I ran out of gas." I see that there is a grocery store across the road and run over there in the off chance they have a gas can that will probably be cheaper. I search up and down the aisles, NOTHING! I consider grabbing a gallon of water to dump out and just fill with gas but I don't have change and didn't really want to use my credit card for $1.09. Also I felt that be a huge waste of water. Oh screw it, I'll just buy the gas can then at least I'll have it when I need it again. I run back over to the station and the door is open. The crazy lady is inside getting her coffee and says, "Oh, don't buy that gas can. That's way too expensive." The attendant then chimes in, "yeah, just get yourself a water jug and use that." Funny, I feel like I've heard this before. I tell the guy I don't have a water jug so unless he has one I have to buy this gas can. "Well let me see if I have one around here." The crazy coffee lady then says, "Hey if you just buy my coffee I'll help you push it over here." So I use my credit card for a $1.29 coffee and she goes to help me. Which I must say was rather nice. She tries and recruit some other people to help but the guy tells me that I won't be able to turn my wheels unless the car is on. WHAT?! Hello, you can turn them without the car being on genius. But I decide to try to start the car just in case my car was faking it. And guess what! IT STARTS! Woo hoo! I drive out of the abandoned gas station and roll slowly out into the street to make sure I catch the light when it's green. I make it. The car had just enough gas left to make it to the gas station. The lady then says she'll pay for her coffee since she didn't really have to push. I told her not to worry about it. So what's the moral of the story? First you can save yourself $.20 but buying a water jug from the grocery store and even though your cars acts like it's out of gas it's really lying and just wants to take a break because it's lazy! That's it Tin Man, you're so grounded.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hey Sailors

I went to meet up with a friend down in San Diego and while I was waiting for her I found this free magazine in the boxes on the street corner and decided to take a look. It wasn't too terribly exciting: movie reviews, local bands, local restaurants, etc. but the ads in the back of the article were quite humorous. There were TONS of ads for plastic surgery. I thought LA was the place for vain people but I guess with San Diego being heavily military there is probably the assumption they all have to look extremely in shape because they're military and everyone knows they do 100 sit-ups every morning and 50 pushups and run 10 miles. At least that's what I assume. But a couple of the ads just made me chuckle a little, one is this coupon. A beer boot. First of all this boot almost looks big enough to fit over this girl's head or fit on a small child. I mean I think a kid could actually wear that boot around. Instead of glass slippers Cinderella's country cousin wore glass boots to the ho-down and found her bull riding cowboy. The other ad was this one I mean really?! 'Engage your target' it's like she's some sort of scared little animal that doesn't want to be married but dang it she's going to be whether she likes it or not. I mean after you pull the trigger and launch that ring at her forehead knocking her unconscious you can slip that ring on her finger and take her down to the local church and when she wakes up she's married. Could you imagine if they actually made a scope that looked like a heart? I bet it'd make it a lot harder to pull the trigger because it's sending the message 'love not war'. Also when I was waiting for her I had this peddle cabby try and convince me I should take a ride in his cart and I was trying to explain to him that I was waiting for a friend and that I didn't have any cash. He didn't really believe me and just kept asking. I asked him if he could give me the history of San Diego but he only knew a few facts. So I told him that if he wasn't going to give me a tour than I didn't really see the point in getting a ride. Then he asked if I was a student and where I was from and blah, blah, blah. He was from Turkey and it seemed every peddle cabby down by that pier was from Turkey. I asked him if they were all related and he said they were just friends. But every time after that every cabby I saw I asked him if he was from Turkey and they all were. One asked me if I was from Turkey and I said, "No, but I eat them for Thanksgiving." Then I laughed and walked away. I hope he doesn't think he's coming to my house for the holiday.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I love technology

So I just registered my blog to Word 2007 on my computer, now I don't even have to log into the website and now I can just post from my computer. Could life get any better? Possibly, I could have crowd of muscled men that did all my house work, cooked me dinner, finished my shopping, organized my house, gave me massages, took me out to dates, and made sweet love to me every night. But for now I'll take the simple thinks like writing my blog from my word processor. Ok, here is the first test let's see if when I push publish it actually shows up. Here goes………..


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Burn baby burn……….ganga inferno

My neighbor downstairs as far as I can tell doesn't have a job and just burns all day long. When I get home from work I can smell the reefer smoke stack through his screen door. Although I highly disapprove of weed in all its forms I guess it’s his choice to smoke away his brain cells. Of course I suppose I could call the cops. But what I really hate about his habit is the smoke drifts up to the stairwell landing in front of my door and then stays there because there is no wind to blow it away from my door. So while all the other neighbors get to open their doors and have the fresh air blow through their homes (which is a little ironic considering its southern California and the smog is so bad you can’t even see the San Gabriel mountains) I have to keep my door shut as to not hot box my apartment. Does he really have to leave the door open? Does he really have to smoke all night? I mean seriously! I do not enjoy walking out of my front door into the purple haze hanging on the stair steps with nowhere to go but greet me every time I decide to leave the apartment. Maybe I should just stick a fan that blows out of my apartment and keeps the smoke from drifting upstairs. Or maybe I should just leave a note on the guy’s door saying, “Hey, I don’t care if you want to kill your brain cells but I’d like to leave my intact so shut your door when you smoke out.” or maybe I should light a little campfire outside his door and leave it there all night smoldering so his entire house smells like he spent a week out in the woods. Or maybe I should put a thin plastic film over his door so the smoke stays in his apartment instead of coming up to visit mine. Or even better I should start leaving flyers on his door about the effects of marijuana. Ever seen the movie “Reefer Madness” well that’s right you too could end up homeless and broke from the Mary Jane. Drugs are bad.