Saturday, June 26, 2010

Sleeping Bumty

I realize that i am awake unusually early on most weekends, i'm typically awake by 6 or 7am. Why? I don't know because my body is used to being up early, i have a real job (to quote my father) i actually have to be up before 8am. Anyway today was no exception and i figured i'd get a jump start on my laundry because who wants to be cleaning dirty underwear all day? Not me.
When i explored the complex earlier i had noticed we actually had laundry on site which the lady from the management company neglected to inform me, in fact i don't think she even knew, but more on her later we've had our run ins. So i take a trip down to the machines crossing my fingers the door isn't locked and too my luck it wasn't. i didn't really think it would be because it doesn't seem this complex is much for safety. I open the doors to check the price of the machines and i see a pair of shoes and some sheets piled in the corner. 'someone forgot their laundry', i think. HOLY CRAP! the sheet just moved. OH MY GOSH! there's someone sleeping in our laundry room. there is a homeless bum where i plan to clean my undies. or perhaps a tenant that was kicked out by his lady friend. not wanting to stick around to see what this bum looked like i quickly leave the room and notice his pants are sitting on the dryer. thank goodness he didn't jump up when he heard the noise because 10 to 1 he wasn't wearing boxers. GROSS!
so now what am i supposed to do? go back down and start my laundry, 'hey man don't mind me i'm just cleaning my clothes in your temporary bedroom. please don't steal anything.' i mean realistically what is he going to do with girl clothes that probably won't fit but you never know and my underwear isn't really the kind you'd want to steal (those who know, understand what i'm saying) i should really yell at the guy, 'hey dude, this isn't a shelter get out of here before i call the cops." But that's just mean, the guy is homeless. would you be that rude and heartless? if you said Yes than you should be kicked in the shin and punched in the kidney. have a heart.
all i can do is hope i scared him out of there like a sleeping dog and hope that he didn't mess in the corner. the problem is i don't think this place has a management office so i don't even have someone to complain too. maybe i'll try back in an hour, that's when people usually get up, right? but what's standard time for bums? Noon? maybe he planned to camp out there all day and make that his new house. well that would really suck because i don't really want to drag my laundry basket all the way to a laundry mat. maybe if i went down there with a squirt bottle and sprayed him in the face he'd leave. where do you think i can buy a can of mustard gas?

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