Wednesday, June 23, 2010

And in the begining i was naked

So here it is, my blog. The first entry, i felt it appropriate to start it on my birthday. My dirty 30 bday of all days. I mean why not. It's a new decade in my life, a new adventure, i just moved states, started a new job position, so why not tell the world about it (or those who care to even read this, which probably won't be many).
I was a little depressed today that it was my day of birth and of creation. (Well i guess i was technically created 9mos earlier than this day but we'll skip the details.) Everyone that i would have partied with is now 300 miles from me in a different state and no one at work would even know it was my celebration day. I considered wearing a crown and a feather boa with a big "Happy Birthday" plastered across the top just so people would get the hint but i don't want them to think i'm totally crazy. (i plan on reveling that at a later date). I had tons of messages from those friends on the book-face and i thank them for that and i had emails and texts and even a song sent to me. So i don't feel totally unloved, only a little unloved because i have no cake in front of me with candles to blow out. I wanted to see how big a flame i could get with 30 candles. that's got to be roaring. i mean i would probably be called on arson and would i even have enough breath to blow them out? i sure hope i would i didn't take two years of flute lessons for nothing. (and yes i did go to band camp, discussion on that later you sickos) Maybe i'll go buy myself a cupcake and put 30 candles it, it'd be covered in wax by the time i was done singing and then what would i do? i wouldn't want to eat it, who wants to eat wax? i mean at least the wax you put on your legs smells like it would taste yummy.
I thought about skipping work and going to the happiest place on Earth...........Lego Land.....ha you thought i was talking about the dorky place where that stupid mouse hangs out. Wrong, i've graduated from Toon Town. But as it turns out the "going for free" on your birthday only applies to the mouse house and that expired last year. LAME-O!
So instead i just went to work and felt sorry for myself and didn't really do much in the way of work so much as emailing and texting friends.
But there is a bright spot on this self pity day. i was actually able to schedule myself a blind date. i know it sounds weird because usually it's a friend of a friend that hooks you up with their friend's cousins brother's nephew but rather what happened is when i was moving out to CA from AZ a acquaintance of mine told me he grew up around the area i was going to be living and so could probably provide me with a person to help me find a suitable place to live. Well this guy Chuck we will call him because that's his name and i don't care to protect the innocent because i don't know if he's innocent, geez i just met the guy get off my back! Anyway i told him that we should get dinner when i get settled in and so since i'm settled i cashed in that dinner and as it turns out the day he picked was on my birthday. So Chuck picks me up and he changes his mind 3 times on the way to dinner with different cuisines he was craving and we settle on Peruvian food which was Ok with me. We're the only people in the restaurant and so get to act like fools and not care, hassle the waitress because she's bored, and discuss many items in life. And check this when they show fries with the dish they aren't a side. they are actually IN the main dish. yeah, that's right. crispy fries mixed in with your meat and veggies, probably one of the best ideas EVER. They weren't soggy like you would think, NO they were crisp and delicious. I'm pretty sure it's not authentic because i've never seen it before but hey that's what you get when you have Mexican's cooking it.
It came out in conversation that it was indeed my birthday because well what are you supposed to do when someone asks your age? Best segue into, "Well as of today i'm 30" which i kind of planted that into the conversation so i could score some free dessert and a Happy Birthday, i played you like a pawn Chuck and you play right along with me. Mwahahaha. I'm laughing because i'm evil. i asked the waitress to put 30 candles on it and she says, "i don't think i have that many." OUCH! what are you saying........i'm old! well go out and buy some more i'm the paying customer. well i'm not paying for the cake but that's beside the point. it's my birthday.......i get what i want. doesn't she know the rules? long story short the birthday wasn't horrible, i got a free meal and dessert, good conversation and probably a new friend. Yay, for blind date birthdays!! But next weekend i'm hitting up Vegas with the little brother because consequently we share the same birthday and you know that will be much more adventurous. VEGAS BABY! WOO HOO!

Oh but interesting fact as i learned from Chuck when you type my address into Google this is the website that pops up dummiesunlimited they actually make dummies for various different uses; law enforcement, military, fire rescue, medical, martial arts. i guess i live in a house of dummies or at least that's what i think of my neighbors so far. of course that could be why i've never met any, they're probably just propped up in a window or next to a door to make it appear like there are occupants but no one real actually lives here. i just might be in an episode of Twilight Zone. Holy Crap! did i swallow that pill with the giant worm to cure me of alcoholism? Where is that music coming from??


  1. OMG! I totally forgot your birthday! I'm the worst friend ever!! How about I make you something yummy next time you visit?? HAPPY BELATED!!!!

  2. You are the worst friend ever but i will accept a baked good as forgiveness ;) Oh man, it'll be good.

  3. Great pumpkin dessert? Molten lava cake? Double chocolate oatmeal cookies?? Mmmm...I'm hungry just thinking about it.