Monday, April 11, 2011

Nothing Says Romance like a Carport

so i'm pretty sure i caught a couple having sex in one of the carports along the outside of our complex. i was coming home from work and there was a white car parked in one of the ports, now basically no one (except me) EVER parks their cars in those ports. my neighbor across the way told me one time to watch out because there are hoodlums around and that one time he and the downstairs neighbor had their tires slashed. "Oh really? where were your cars parked?" "On the street." Um..........ok so your tires were slashed when your car was parked on the street thus i shouldn't park in the carport. Ok, that makes total sense. but i digress. so this car is parked with it's front end facing the little drive and the door is open and there is this couple standing behind the door. the guy standing behind the girl and them looking out towards the drive. so i drive by and give a quick glance assuming that they were just unloading their car or something. i park my car on the street and start to unload the stuff from my backseat and i hear some noises coming from the carport. "are those pleasure noises?" it was faint but Yes there was the moaning and the heavy breathing. OH...........MY.............DISGUSTING!!! those people are actually having sex at 5 in the evening in a dirty carport. that guy has to have some kind of charm to convince a girl to give it up in a carport. i mean at a minimum you would think that they would at least do the dirty in the backseat of the car but i guess it's nice that they had the car door as a cover so the rest of us wouldn't have to see them going at it. but then i realized that those condoms and wrappers that seemed to appear in my carport over the weekend probably weren't just high school kids messing around but probably this dirty pair banging behind their car door. GROSS!!!!! i think i might have to make signs and hang them up that say "No Sex Zone" "Please don't get your jizz on my car." "But thanks for practicing Safe Sex so we don't breed anymore idiots."

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