Hey Sailors

I went to meet up with a friend down in San Diego and while I was waiting for her I found this free magazine in the boxes on the street corner and decided to take a look. It wasn't too terribly exciting: movie reviews, local bands, local restaurants, etc. but the ads in the back of the article were quite humorous. There were TONS of ads for plastic surgery. I thought LA was the place for vain people but I guess with San Diego being heavily military there is probably the assumption they all have to look extremely in shape because they're military and everyone knows they do 100 sit-ups every morning and 50 pushups and run 10 miles. At least that's what I assume. But a couple of the ads just made me chuckle a little, one is this coupon. A beer boot. First of all this boot almost looks big enough to fit over this girl's head or fit on a small child. I mean I think a kid could actually wear that boot around. Instead of glass slippers Cinderella's country cousin wore glass boots to the ho-down and found her bull riding cowboy. The other ad was this one I mean really?! 'Engage your target' it's like she's some sort of scared little animal that doesn't want to be married but dang it she's going to be whether she likes it or not. I mean after you pull the trigger and launch that ring at her forehead knocking her unconscious you can slip that ring on her finger and take her down to the local church and when she wakes up she's married. Could you imagine if they actually made a scope that looked like a heart? I bet it'd make it a lot harder to pull the trigger because it's sending the message 'love not war'. Also when I was waiting for her I had this peddle cabby try and convince me I should take a ride in his cart and I was trying to explain to him that I was waiting for a friend and that I didn't have any cash. He didn't really believe me and just kept asking. I asked him if he could give me the history of San Diego but he only knew a few facts. So I told him that if he wasn't going to give me a tour than I didn't really see the point in getting a ride. Then he asked if I was a student and where I was from and blah, blah, blah. He was from Turkey and it seemed every peddle cabby down by that pier was from Turkey. I asked him if they were all related and he said they were just friends. But every time after that every cabby I saw I asked him if he was from Turkey and they all were. One asked me if I was from Turkey and I said, "No, but I eat them for Thanksgiving." Then I laughed and walked away. I hope he doesn't think he's coming to my house for the holiday.