Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Your hands are to carry stuff

Today I went shopping to take advantage of the 50% off Christmas sales and figured I didn't need a cart since I was only planning on picking up a few items and indeed I found some gems. When I took them to the register the following is what transpired with the cashier.

"Do you have a rewards number?"
"Yeah sure, let me give it to you. Oh, and I don't need a bag."
"You don't want a bag?"
"No, I don't need one."
(Looking at me with a blank stare)
"But how will you carry your stuff?"

Now........I wanted to say, "Well, I'm obviously going to use my pack horse, don't you see it behind me?" But instead.

"I carried it up here I'm sure I can carry it out." (smile to the cashier)

She rings up my items and as the receipt is printing out I grab the loose ornaments and garland with my right hand, take the boxed ornaments with my left, put it under my right arm and then grab the receipt from the cashier with my once again free left hand . As I grabbed the receipt the lady just stared at me with this flabbergasted look as if she's never seen anyone use their appendages in such a way. Perhaps she's never seen people utilize their limbs.

I've decided that perhaps I should do a quick tutorial on what body parts can carry items, this is only an abbreviated list as the options are endless;

Hands - these are great for carrying small items, like keys, phones or baby chickens. You can also use your fingers to carry things, like clothes hangers, or loop ornament hooks over them and even carry multiple six packs. (I usually like to use my hands to feel six packs but they don't sell those kind at department stores)

Arms - these are great because they can hold very large items. You can hold a large box, carry a load of wood or bear hug a baby kangaroo. What's even better is your arms bend and have these things called "crooks". These can hold multiple grocery bags, purses or a python.  

Shoulders - ever heard of the fireman carry? Well if you ever need to carry a fireman feel free to try it out. And the always useful over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, (mine are more like pebbles but none the less shoulders are needed)

Head - if you have a large item you need to move through a crowd this can be very useful, I'd recommend using your hands to steady it but if you've been to Africa you know that's just for the amateurs. Here's an article that further explains head loads Load with caution.

Hips - now I don't want to say these are exclusively used by women since they have been found to be a great spot for tool belts but there is a reason that men usually wear suspenders for function instead of fashion.

Back - piggy back ride, horse back ride, backpack, baby-got-back. The uses are endless.

Mouth - I use this in extreme cases of overload. Sometimes you just gotta put your money where your mouth is when all your hands are full.

I hope this helps those who are confused as to why a bag isn't necessary in all situations of purchase and if you need some further instructions on life saving carries then check out this Lesson Page. You never know when you might need them.

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